Loved… And Lost.

November17

Nathaniel Jeremiah

Nathaniel Jeremiah

~ born still at 13 weeks and 3 days on October 19, 2008 ~

please
a cry rose up from an anguished heart
a plea to Father God in the night
i’ve been waiting for their lives to start
please
beginning of Grace, source of all might
You, Our Mother before the stars
felt my grief and Your mercy took flight
and grew
a child
in me
a son whose eyes i would never see
his voice unheard, his heart was stilled
and gently, so gently torn from me
and left
a wound
in me
kissed, named, buried, his spirit has flown
this son God has given, withheld
left thankful hearts where such loss was known

Filed under NJW Was Here
3 Comments to

“Loved… And Lost.”

  1. Avatar January 15th, 2009 at 8:14 PM Ubi Spiritus » Blog Archive » Come, Now Is The Time Says:

    [...] my Mom that really helped shift something deep inside me – a veil had fallen over my face when I lost my unborn son and it muted my vision of our Lord’s glory and amazing love. I felt I couldn’t get a [...]
  2. Avatar May 2nd, 2009 at 10:27 PM Ubi Spiritus » Blog Archive » New Owners Says:

    [...] which was supposed to clear up once and for all whether the polyp that possibly caused my miscarriage was still there. It was inconclusive. We scheduled a hysteroscopy in order to not waste any time, [...]
  3. Avatar May 11th, 2009 at 2:48 AM Ubi Spiritus » Blog Archive » Happy Mother’s Day Says:

    [...] finally, to Nathaniel Jeremiah, for making me one of these mothers, for bringing me closer than I have ever come to my dream of [...]
  • Project Timekeeper Box:
    Making (painting and setting up) my very own Big Box of ADHD for a fun way to manage my own time and projects! I've bought a box with 9 drawers to use.



I’m here because I’m lonely. I’m here because people who are lonely in the same way I am lonely have a very hard time finding each other. .

Being hearing impaired / deaf is lonely.
Having bipolar disorder is lonely.
Being an undergraduate student in your mid-thirties is lonely.
Being a Biblical Studies major is lonely.
Being infertile is lonely.

And even though it shouldn’t be, being desperately in love with God is sometimes the loneliest feeling there is.

So there it is. I’m dropping any attempt to be slick or intellectual or one of the cool kids. I’m just here to share the things I struggle with, the things I’m trying to understand and the things I am learning.