Tongue Gets Tied

May15

I once heard someone on a show about severe obesity explaining the problem with food being that it’s not like you can eat enough food for the week on Sunday. You have to eat multiple times a day and every time you eat, you confront your problem with not eating more than you need.

I’m like that with music. It’s never enough. No matter how much I love my old favourites (and by now I have thousands of them), I am constantly falling in love with new songs, new artists, whole new genres even. Ishi has no idea how lucky he is – how grateful he should be that I work so hard to keep my music lust in check and how little I spend on new CDs and MP3 downloads. If he even had the first clue that I have said “no” to a new CD at least 150 times before I finally give in and buy one, I’m sure he would be beside himself with gratitude. Right?!

But every once in a while I hear something and the notes go down inside me and awaken a deep, bottomless hunger and I know, just know I have stumbled across something that will change the very shape of the horizons of my life’s soundscape.

Tonight, at the beginning of the final scene of tonight’s episode of Flashpoint, a line from this song played and I was just agog. I can never hear the words, but I heard these: “how many more days can you hold out”. Thanks to Google and some very creative rephrasings, I found it! It’s called “The Sun Is Shining Down” by JJ Grey and Mofro. I wasn’t the only one it impressed; you can hear the whole song here.

I bought the CD within ten minutes of the show ending. I think I found my next old, old favourite.

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I’m here because I’m lonely. I’m here because people who are lonely in the same way I am lonely have a very hard time finding each other. .

Being hearing impaired / deaf is lonely.
Having bipolar disorder is lonely.
Being an undergraduate student in your mid-thirties is lonely.
Being a Biblical Studies major is lonely.
Being infertile is lonely.

And even though it shouldn’t be, being desperately in love with God is sometimes the loneliest feeling there is.

So there it is. I’m dropping any attempt to be slick or intellectual or one of the cool kids. I’m just here to share the things I struggle with, the things I’m trying to understand and the things I am learning.